Over the past couple weeks, I've been thinking a lot about the things I'm trying to create. About how to proceed; about the ideas to incorporate; about plot and character; about form, function, content. Unfortunately, lately I've really been struggling with coming up with ideas, with coming up with good form, good construction; I've been sort of on the fritz, mentally-speaking lately—due, in no small part, to my pretty constant overtiredness, stress and insinuant ungood feelings/depression. Though that's not the only reason work has slowed (as sometimes those can actually work to my advantage, depending on the variety I'm faced with); possibly of equal importance is the lack of goal; without deadlines or tangible results in view, I'm floundering. And so, I present, to those silent few who have any interest in my creative output: my goals for 2009 (in terms of quantity of work [I can always go back and work on that niggling "quality" thing later]):
- bring Jürgen; ou: Les Cloches ne sont pas belles to a minimum of 50 000 words. This is, most likely, easily achievable (it would mean that, working daily, I'd need only write approximately 100 words a day). And I have many ideas for the novel, I just need to write them.
- finish or at least significantly add to: "Babel," "Go to Hell," "The Old Woman," "The Woman Blowing Bubbles," "Breathless Urgency," "Mustn't Let It Rust," "He," "Dream Lover," "Hayride," "Les Goddams," "It's Cold in the Kitchen when You're Naked," "On How to Dispose of Skunks," "Slinky Pojak," "writer/character," "On Botany and its Possibilities," "Shamhat," The Wagner play (at least the introductory scene), The Stain Stays and the Stink Sticks, The Memoirs of Oskari Kultalahti, and The Ballad of Toot Uncommon and Pierce-Face.
- write and record at least one song (that isn't terrible) (or record at least two already written songs).
- draw/paint/otherwise put on paper at least one piece that I don't hate.
- perhaps attempt a little sculptural piece (specifically, the one I've had in mind for the past four or seven years).
- post more things here.
Yeah, it's a pretty intense—and no doubt idealistic—list. And, most likely, I'll not achieve a minimum of 2/3 of it. But, at least I've set out goals for myself. It feels sort of like doing something. I'll keep the world updated on my progress. Not too regularly, though.
