The last few days, it’s been really hot (grossly hot, breath-haltingly hot [okay, maybe that was just yesterday. But yesterday was when I noticed this convergence, so the excessive heat needed to be mentioned built up exaggerated, like some sort of pathetic fallacy mimicking, I don’t know, the bubbling frenzy in my brain as the gears churned and churned and heated up in that capacious space between my ears. And mentioned not least of all because it adds to my meagre narrative. And pathetic fallacy’s always a good time.]) and you know that haze that comes to really hot cities? You know it, sure: the haze that drapes itself across the city like a damp sheet of cheesecloth and changes the feel of the air and changes the colour texture tone of the air and everything around you. Well, I’ve been sitting at my desk at work the last couple days, looking out my window at the diffused dimmed muted light of the skyline and I realised that the colour texture tone of the view outside my window matches almost exactly the colour palette of The Sea of Ice by Caspar David Friedrich.
The buildings around me match the spikes spires broken sheets of ice in colour and tone and—with my farfromperfect eyesight smoothing out (and that muslin haze helping, too) the more distant buildings—even in texture; and it’s not much of a stretch to see those slabs of ice as huge chunks of buildings crumbled collapsed. There are several buildings with cranes roosting on their roofs; the cranes with their long necks (masts) and guy-wires (rigging) that whisper their way into the broken empty husk of the shipwreck.
Ever since I set The Sea of Ice as my work computer’s desktop background, I’ve been seeing it everywhere; the concrete slabs that form the beach at Tommy Thompson Park, any violently thrown-together pile of things and now, outside my workplace window.
Though, at the same time, it’s a strong juxtaposition, too; the painting is all about the power, the overwhelming might of Nature; the utter disregard of Nature for the human world and the view outside my window is more the human attempts at overwhelming Nature, the utter disregard of humanity for Nature (though Nature is patient and resilient and insinuative and just look at any cracking splitting pavement for a glimpse of this and maybe The Sea of Ice also works as portent in a sort of fun dystopian way).
If I were disgustingly rich and the painting were for sale, I would buy it and hang it on my wall and set a chair in front of it and just sit and sit and watch and sit and stare and sit and talk to it and sit and sit
So, I'm trying my hand at crafting a bonsai. This is my first attempt and it'll probably end badly, but I'll enjoy it every step of the way. It's so soothing, so calming, so relaxing, so another synonym. I like just looking at the thing and thinking about how to do things with it.
I've also started looking at trees differently, more closely.
When I first brought this little guy (juniperus procumbens nana - a typical firstling) home, it was very lush and way too full. As this is my first attempt at bonsai, I wanted to bring things down to a very sparse, open shape, so I could get an idea of how the branches looked, how to reshape the branches, how to manipulate the tree.
And, when I was looking at that lush, full tree, I saw a lovely flow between the two main branches; there was a fluid motion, anactive shape that I felt needed to be exposed. So, I started chopping. And maybe I chopped a bit too much, but I like where we've ended up.
So, without further ado, pictures.
As it was in the beginning:
After the first couple prunings (notice the flow of the two main branches starting to reveal itself; maybe you'll like it, too!):
And today, I made my first attempt at wiring. I was a bit nervous about this — didn't want to do any damage (I've decided to do my damage in other ways, apparently). But, once I started in on wrapping the wire, I felt quite a lot better about it. We'll see how it went in a few weeks.
So, here's how the tree looks tonight (almost entirely bare):
Front (for now):
Back (again, for now [obviously, since if I decide to make the front the not-front, then the back can't be not the not-back]):
I still haven't decided what to do with that weird little branch that's sticking up in the middle, but I don't want to get rid of it and I don't think it looks right as it is. I'm going to sit on it for a while, though.
Looking forward to taking the wire off in a few weeks/a month to see if the branches kept their new shapes.
Also, there's a little piece of branch under one of the wired branches that I think I will try to jin when I decide the time is right to attempt that aspect of bonsai crafting.
1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Started an office job. Basically, I'm this guy, but less dancefully talented:
And probably less eloquently upset about the whole thing. Oh, and my ties are definitely not as cool.1
Felt an earthquake happen. That was new and something I'd like to never experience again even if it were one as slight as that thank you very much.
2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Looking back at last year's resolutions,2 I've been almost moderately successful; I've [redacted] only, like, twice3 and I spent more time writing in 2010.4 Still a selfish pail of turpentine, unfortunately.5 This year? Use more footnotes!6 Write more, create more. Be better, be less disappointing.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
R. & E. had a baby. So I'm some sort of uncle or something.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nope.
5. What countries did you visit?
I live underground and I work in the sky. You figure it out.
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
A job that I enjoy on at least some level.7 At least one completed work of something - you know: writing, music - that sort of thing.8 A self that I can genuinely enjoy.
7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March 29. G.'s birthday and my first day at the new job.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Getting a less shitty job, I'd say. That's it. I wasn't all that full of achievement.9
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not writing more, not creating things, not doing anything good in a creative sense.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing serious.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
I didn't buy much in 2010 that wasn't food- or drink-related that I can remember, though I did make an order with NH to get all the CB and DSO albums I didn't own. It hasn't arrived yet, though. Oh, and a few books, no doubt.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Mine, at times. Probably not appalled, though, as that, to me, sort of carries with it the idea of, like, surprise and, man, am I ever not surprising.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent, vet bills, food, booze, student loans.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
G. Sam and Hailey.
16. What songs will always remind you of 2010?
Rites of Spring - "For Want Of"; 'cause it's awesome and it gets played frequently because of that simple fact. Darkthrone - "Circle the Wagons"; 'cause Darkthrone is Darkthrone. And new Darkthrone is Darkthrone. And that means awesome.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier. Yup. b) thinner or fatter? About the same, I'm pretty sure. Firmer, though. c) richer or poorer? Richer; my new job paid (very) slightly more than the previous one. And, as of January 1, or so I was told on January 6, it'll pay slightly more on top of that. Decent. Oh, and more student loan is paid off. So, less debt = richer, right? Right.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Cool things. Writing - I spend so much time sitting at my computer not writing. Why don't I turn some of that time into sitting at my computer writing?11
Spent it in the comfort of The Cave.13 It was a wonderfully relaxed, too short holiday.
21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
over and over and over and profoundly and achingly and14
22. How many one-night stands?
23. What was your favourite TV program?
Breaking Bad and DS9 and Flight of the Conchords and Kids in the Hall.15
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Don't think so.
25. What was the best book you read?
I re-read both: Only Revolutions by Mark 16 Danielewski Jimmy Corrigan, The Smartest Kid on Earth by Chris Ware because they are amazing amazing amazing works.
Great first-time reads: Gut Symmetries by Jeanette Winterson (100% my favourite writer.) A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again by David Foster Wallace The Famished Road by Ben Okri All the King's Men by Robert Penn Warren Market Day by James Sturm Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie Gob's Grief by Chris Adrian Gravity's Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I got myself a last.fm subscription, so I heard so many new bands17 that I don't even know.
27. What did you want and get?
A better job.
28. What did you want and not get?
An enjoyable job. Publication
29. What was your favourite film of this year?
My Best Fiend.
Which gave me this:
Thank you, Mr. Herzog (and, obviously, Mr. Kinski, too).
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 28. I had a wonderfully relaxed day at home, spending time with G.18
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I'm gonna second G.'s answer and say: healthy Sam.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Tight pants and tighter underwear.
33. What kept you sane?
G. and Sam and Hailey.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Toronto's municipal election.
36. Who did you miss?
Family. J&E
37. Who was the best new person you met?
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010?
